"Cold Hands...Warm Heart"

I've woken up to the cold, wet, windy Saturday morning, and I feel sad, very sad. It seems as though on the cusp of every accomplishment there is defeat again. I'm speaking of my son Eric.
I was so happy for him this time. This time seemed different. Perhaps as he gets older he is learning that having patience is priceless. He's working, too, which is such an accomplishment in today's world. He's even putting money aside...for the big day. The day he will be a free man again!
I just received a picture of my daughter and son today. They were standing so close together, with Eric's arm around her shoulders....a real "big brother" gesture. Tears of happiness fell from my eyes when I saw the photo. My tears are two-fold, though, for defeat has struck again. Eric's complacency with his situation, his inability to say no, and his lack of vision of the "big picture" has swept him away again. Never mind the fact that I haven't seen him face to face since 1997, just before his 20th birthday, I don't know now when I'll see him again. I was just beginning to think that John and I should go back for a visit when he is free. That would have been within the next two years. It would be such a good feeling to get hugged by my son and daughter at once! My secret desire would be to cook them a dinner, and all of us sit down and eat together! But, now that's not going to happen.
My hands get cold when I'm typing in winter...and today, my heart is bursting with the love I want to send to Eric. If only he wanted for himself what I want for him.....